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Posts Tagged ‘wisdom’

50 Cent, Life Coach

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50 cent

I’ve always been intrigued by the idea of a life coach. I use a fitness and nutrition coach these days, and they’ve been priceless in terms of their impact on my health. Life coaches are interesting in that they are like mentors, but different because a life coach relationship is spelled out, whereas a mentor relationship is mostly implicit.

The best thing I’ve read in months is ZachBaron’s feature for GQ, 50 Cent Is My Life Coach. It’s equal parts smart, strong, heartbreaking and human. It’s also the sort of article that gets better and better the more of it you read. I’m going to share some of my favorite bits here just to entice you, but really, you should read the whole thing. Make it a weekend free-time thing. Seriously.

50 Cent on having couples make vision boards:

50 Cent thinks for a minute. Actually, he says, my girlfriend—the one I just mentioned, the one I’d just moved in with? 50 Cent would like her to make a vision board, too. Then we’re going to compare. “Take things out of your folder and things out of her folder to create a folder that has everything,” he says. “Now the vision board is no longer your personal vision board for yourself: It’s a joint board.” That joint board will represent what we have in common. It will be a monument to our love.

But there will be some leftover unmatched photos, too, in each of our folders. And that’s what the joint board is really for—what it’s designed to reveal. “The things that end up on your vision board that aren’t in hers are the things that she has to accept,” 50 Cent says. “And the things that she has that you don’t are the things that you have to make a compromise with.” In a healthy relationship, he explains, your differences are really what need talking about. This is how you go about making that conversation happen.

“See?” 50 says, smiling. “Now, they ain’t gonna tell you to do that in no book.”

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What I’d Tell My 20-Year-Old Self

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I recently turned 45. While it was a disappointingly ho-hum event (Ryan Seacrest did NOT show up at my house, if you can believe that nonsense), I caught myself wondering what I’d tell my 20-year-old self if I were able to go back and dispense the modicum of “wisdom” (do finger airquotes here) I’ve picked up along the way. I can’t say there’s much, but I have a few things I wish someone would have told me when I was 20. They are:

Take chances. It’s easy to play it safe, and you’ll want to later when you have more obligations. For now, take chances, screw up, do what you can to make things happen that you are passionate about. Who cares if you fail. Now’s the time to chase what you really want, because you’ll never be this unencumbered again.

Fear is a useless emotion. It paralyzes you, clouds your decision-making, makes you second guess yourself. Fear is a mind killer. Do everything you can to realize the fear you feel is almost always massively disproportionate to even the worst possible outcome. We are not being hunted by tigers anymore. Do everything in your power to put fear into a corner and not let it out.

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QUOTE: On Talking a Walk

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Few people know how to take a walk. The qualifications are endurance, plain clothes, old shoes, an eye for nature, good humor, vast curiosity, good speech, good silence and nothing too much.

—Ralph Waldo Emerson

Offbeat Advice I Wish I Was Given in School

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Michael Lazerow, LinkedIn Influencer and entrepreneur lists some advice he wishes he was given in school. I could easily quote the whole article, but I won’t. Here’s a sampling:

Play a sport. What you don’t learn in art class you’ll pick up on the field.

Doodle often. It’s your brain on auto drive. You never know where it will take you.

Admit your mistakes. Don’t lie. Take your punishment. And move on. The mistake won’t hurt you. The coverup will. Flawed, vulnerable people are likable. Liars aren’t.

Great stuff. Indeed, I think every child should be taught these at an early age. Simple lessons to hear, hard to practice, even harder to master.

QUOTE: On Work vs. Taking Credit

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“My grandfather once told me that there were two kinds of people: those who do the work and those who take the credit. He told me to try to be in the first group; there was much less competition.”

— Indira Gandhi

So simple, yet so difficult.  In fact, management and workplace guru  Bob Sutton has some smart commentary regarding this wisdom as it relates to organizations and organizational behavior:

I had a meeting today with my colleague Huggy Rao where we were batting around various ideas about systems that are effective versus ineffective at scaling good ideas. Huggy brought up this cool quote from Indira Gandhi: […]

He then went on to argue that systems that bring-in, develop, and reward people in the first group  — and that expel, reform, and punish people in the second group — are likely to be more effective at spreading and implementing constructive action. Sounds right to me.

Spot-on. (Italics mine.)

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QUOTE: On Commitment and Boldness

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“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now.”

— Classically attributed to Johann Wolfgan von Goethe

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QUOTE: On Aiming High

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It must be borne in mind that the tragedy of life doesn’t lie in not reaching your goal. The tragedy lies in having no goal to reach.

It isn’t a calamity to die with dreams unfulfilled, but it is a calamity not to dream. It is not a disaster to be unable to capture your ideal, but it is a disaster to have no ideal to capture.

It is not a disgrace not to reach the stars, but it is a disgrace to have no starts to reach for. Not failure, but low aim is sin.

– Benjamin Elijah Mays

(Via swissmiss)

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